God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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