Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
