Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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