My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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