your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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