he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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