let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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