My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
