Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize