I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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