I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize