Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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