just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she looked like the before picture.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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