there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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