What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
