I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
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buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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