How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
