So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
