Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
