Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my shit smells like andre
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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