it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
