11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
