Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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