What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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