Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
