she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
