That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
