non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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