there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
