help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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