He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
