If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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