highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
