so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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