remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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