Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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