so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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