They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
