Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
