He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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