So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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