im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
