Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
