I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
