If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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