Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
