i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize