the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
