so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
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I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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