As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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