Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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