Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He kissed a someone with a penis
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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