my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is it penis luge time yet?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
