I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
