giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
