singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
