who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
