So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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