I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize