Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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