saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
