I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
