Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
